


Soul Savin'

by ThatEsqCrush



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fucking, Mutual Pining, Pining, Porn with Feelings, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:33:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatEsqCrush/pseuds/ThatEsqCrush
Summary: You and Rafael are just friends, right? There isn't anything more... or is there?
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a lot of liberties and using a lot of prompts and part of a challenge here, specifically: “from your smutty prompt list, can you please do “Friends don’t do this kind of shit!” where Barba and the reader go to a bar, have some tequila, then do some body shots” as well as “I turned out liking your a lot more than I originally planned.” Finally, using Jewel’s “Who Will Save Your Soul” as part of @thefanficfaerie‘s birthday challenge.

Rafael was surprised to find you at the bar. Normally Forlini’s was his choice establishment. He had been handed a difficult loss so he decided to go five miles upward from home and work. It was a desperate attempt to get away from it all and away from anyone he knew. You were drowning your sorrows with some kind of alcohol – he couldn’t tell what it was. Your back was slumped, your shoulders were curved, and your head was hung low. You appeared forlorn. It had rained earlier in the day and your hair, which had been perfectly coiffed earlier, was messily undone. Your shirt clung to your skin and Rafael surmised you must have been caught in the earlier rainstorm that took place. He had heard the brontide during his travels.

“Detective Y/N,” Rafael greeted as he took the bar stool to your right. “I see you started without me.”

You looked up at the prosecutor who you’ve come to work so closely with. You gave him a half smile. “What are you doing here?” you questioned, not bothering to greet him.

“I wanted to get away from everyone,” Rafael replied as he motioned to the bartender to come over. You raised your brow at his response - seemed you two had something in common.

“What are you drinking?”

“Grouse,” you replied to which Rafael crinkled his nose. His eyes scanned the array of bottles behind the bar and when the bartender came over, he ordered Bruichladdich Black Art neat – one for you and one for him. “How you can drink that swill is beyond me,” he retorted.

You narrowed your eyes. “Not all of us have deep pockets counselor. Some of us are broke like a joke.”

Rafael huffed slightly as he handed his card over to the bartender. “Keep it open,” he requested. He waved slightly over your way and instructed the bartender that he would pay your tab. You began to protest but Rafael shook his head, insisting. “Broke like a joke right?”

You swiveled in your seat and turned around, your back to the bar. You watched as the other patrons mingled about. You took a long languid sip of the scotch and let it swish around in your mouth. You appreciated the complex notes and hummed your approval. “This is good. Really good.” Still, as impressed as you were, your voice was quiet, and he could hear the regret and disappointment in your voice.

Rafael cocked his head, looking over at you. Fifteen years his junior, Rafael was completely fascinated with you when he first met you a year and a half ago. You had made your own lateral move to SVU, transferring over from homicide. Rafael would watch you out of the corner of his eye, admiring your intelligence and quick wit. You showed empathy for the victims. You had a keen sense of skirting the law but were always able to maintain its integrity. A lot of the time, you drove him – and sometimes your commander – ostensibly crazy. To top it off, you were beautiful. Whenever he was in close quarters with you, he felt enchanted, like a moth to a flame.

“Don’t take it so hard,” Rafael replied quietly, trying hard to ignore how your shirt clung to your dampened skin and what it did to him. “You did all that you could. Your testimony was solid.”

You snorted in response before taking another pull of your drink. “I like to think that I knew exactly what to do – with this case. How to approach it and how to solve it. I have the skill, I could see the path, the steps and I keep thinking… why couldn’t the jury see it?” You tapped your temple - your eyes were brimmed with unshed tears. Eventually one lone tear betrayed you and traveled southward. Rafael resisted the urge to cup your face.

You cast your eyes over Rafael, watching him with intent – his strong jawline, his distinguished nose, his pink lips, his seafoam green eyes. If you squinted hard enough, you could make out his five o’clock shadow which stemmed from his greying temples. It was too much at times. His handsomeness was churlish and discourteous.

Working with Rafael was as the cool kids said, wild. Never in your career had you met someone who was so emblazoned and passionate by and of, the law. He was guided both by the spirit of the law and by the letter of it. You were not sure as to when your torch for Rafael was set ablaze, but it was. The embers in your heart were rekindled when you met him. You initially pushed those feelings aside, focusing on work. For you, things in homicide seemed – easier almost; the majority of the time it was black and white. Not in SVU. It was as if you had to work harder to prove the victims, were indeed the victims. The grey, the ambiguity, the dubiousness of consent. Sometimes securing justice was victorious – and other times, like now, it felt fleeting. You worked with a stellar team and you learned so much; it made you a better detective. As complicated as SVU was – so were your feelings for Rafael.

The bar which had been quiet, began to fill with patrons. You looked at the clock and surmised happy hour was starting early.

Rafael set his drink down and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves, showing off his muscular forearms. You took a deep breath and focused your view on the now empty glass in front of you. You motioned for the bartender to refill your drink.

“So, what are you doing here?” you asked as you leaned forward to pluck a cherry from the garnish caddy. “You don’t live this far up, do you?”

“No.” Rafael replied, as he leaned over to snatch the cherry from you. You gave him a pointed look and he gave you a small smile, his eyes crinkling in response. He popped the cherry in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “I used to come here back when I worked corporate.”

“You used to work corporate?” you sputtered. You grabbed a napkin and wiped your face and shirt, feeling your face grow hot with embarrassment. “When?”

“How do you think I can afford these suits?” Rafael retorted. He waved his hand, “Don’t answer, that’s rhetorical. I worked in mergers and corporate acquisitions after graduation. They say loyalty lies where money is tied. And for awhile, I stayed. I was fortunate to get a free ride, so I was able to save up. I didn’t have to worry about debt.” A look so subtle flashed across your face that Rafael was not even sure he even caught it.

Rafael continued, “Eventually, my mother needed help with my abuelita; she was getting older - more frail. Like the good little Catholic boy that I was… you know, guilt and responsibility - I came home from Cambridge and worked in midtown to be close by. The work was good, but unfulfilling. I wanted to do something where I could use my Spanish and feel connected to the world. There was a lead on opening with the Brooklyn D.A.’s office, and that’s how I eventually ended up here. The hours were better. I could be with my family more.”

“Well boy wonder, I wish I could say my story was half as good as that. But there is not much to tell,” you replied. You took Rafael’s drink from in front of him and kicked it back.

“Tell me,” Rafael implored. “I want to hear it.”

“Why?” you questioned defensively. “We’re not friends.” ‘We’re not anything.’ you continued in your mind.

“We are friends. We’re colleagues after all. I’m friends with Liv… and don’t tell anyone, because I will deny it, but Carisi too.”

You cocked your head at Rafael’s response. You momentarily sobered up and nodded. “Okay.” And so you did – you told him how like Carisi, you did your own five borough tour – starting in Brooklyn where you grew up and then moved to Queens to go to St. John’s. You moved in with your boyfriend after graduation and lived in the Bronx. But that romance while long lived, caused heartbreak and from there you enrolled in the Academy. You worked your way through and through before you made your move to SVU.

More drinks were had. At one point, Rafael and you both decided that food was desperately needed to sop up the liquor: bacon wrapped onion rings, pork belly sliders and nachos were just some of the things you both gorged on while continuing to talk. Hours were quickly spent.

You stood up from your seat and felt unsteady. Despite your attempts to fuel, the alcohol had already taken a grip on your system. Your mind was fuzzy and your tongue was starting to feel numb. Two large hands gripped your waist to steady you. You felt your face heat up once more and you mumbled your thanks.

“It’s late.” you replied, feeling his breath on yours. You wondered if Rafael could feel how quick your heart was racing. All the time spent together tonight had only further fueled your feelings. “I should go.”

“Not alone. You’ve had a lot to drink.”

You cocked your brow. “I can take care of myself, Rafael.”

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable. You know the work we do; the people we come across. If something happened to you because you weren’t sound…” His voice was low, filled with concern.

You grabbed his forearm, bringing his attention back to focus. “Okay, okay. You’ll see me home then.”

Rafael paid the open tab and escorted you outside. He stepped off the curb and flagged down a taxi. You managed to mumble your address to the driver and Rafael was pleased to know you actually lived close by to him. He wondered why you chose a midtown Manhattan bar to congregate at.

The cab ride was mostly silent. Finally, the cab came to a stop. Rafael again, took care of the fare and he accompanied you to your apartment door. You fumbled with your purse and it fell to the ground, scattering its contents. Rafael helped you gather your stuff. He handed you the keys and he let out a low hum as your hands touched ever so briefly. You opened the door, and leaned against the doorway. “Thanks for the drinks and thanks for getting me home.”

“You’re welcome Y/N,” Rafael replied looking past your shoulder, allowing a brief glance of what your apartment was like. It was compulsively neat - like his. 

“I’ll see you Monday.”

Rafael nodded, the corner of his lips twitched into a smile. There was something about it that unsettled you - but in a good way. You shut the door and leaned against it. Confusion settled in. You felt as if everything you consumed was ready to upchuck. Rafael let out a breath as the door shut with a click.

As fate would have it, it began to downpour on the walk home. Rafael quickened his pace through the city streets, getting soaked to the bone. Finally he was back at his own apartment. He slumped against his own door, feeling defeated not just in his court case, but in other matters as well.

He finally pulled himself away and dried off, slipping into black light-knit sweatpants and a Harvard t-shirt. As he settled into bed, his phone buzzed. His heart began to pound - almost foretelling his oncoming hangover as he realized he had a text message from you.

I meant what I said; thanks for everything tonight. It was fun amigo. We should do it again.

Rafael’s dreams that night were filled with longing and desire for you. It was in his dreams, he was with you and he woke up the next morning, filled with bitterness for the unattainable. He just didn’t know that your sleep was fraught with similar dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

The friendship between you and Rafael bloomed quickly. You guys got to know each other the old-fashioned way: from catching a foreign film at the Angelika, going to a farmer’s market on the weekend, or catching an outside concert in Central Park. Truth be told, after Yelina, Rafael did not make room for love in his heart. Romance and love were for others – not him. Yelina made sure of that, smashing his heart to pieces. The law was enough of a love for him. 

Your time with Rafael challenged that. Both of you wondered if you could ever hope for more. But during all of these – whatever they were – no one dared move an inch forward, too terrified of setting off some kind of bomb that would somehow destroy everything. You would each push the thought away – you both secretly preferred to have one another as a friend than ruin it and lose your friendship altogether.

Whenever Rafael visited the precinct, he made sure to bring an extra coffee – (and sometimes pastry) for you. The first time a coffee had appeared on your desk, you were irritated that someone had left their trash on your desk and you burned the tips of your fingers when you grabbed it carelessly, not having realized how hot it was. It was only when Rafael came out of Liv’s office and gave you a curt nod, did you realize it was from him. It was safe to say that you quickly grew accustomed to it, and even began to look forward to it. Coffees became lunches (sometimes with a hidden request for a warrant from you) and those in turn, became dinners.

Rafael would regale you with stories of his Harvard days and growing up in el Barrio. You would share equally personal stories and how you were inspired to become a cop after your brother was held up at gun point while working retail and how you were originally an English major but dropped it for criminal justice after having a terrible professor that semester.

“What’s with you two?” Amanda asked one particular morning, hopping onto the corner of your desk. You looked up from your desk, your mouth half-full of a guava and cheese glazed puff that Rafael brought you with an iced coffee “with espuma” – a Cuban take on the coffee foam craze that was popularized on Instagram.

“What?” you asked as you stirred the coffee mousse into the milk.

“Him and you – bringing you coffee and treats and being disgustingly nice. You two sleeping with each other?” Amanda asked pointedly.

Your eyes widened slightly, and your cheeks grew hot. “No, we’re not sleeping with each other,” you hissed; your eyes darted to see if anyone was nearby that could potentially overhear. “We’re just friends.”

“Sure, okay. You’re telling me you don’t have a thing for him?” Amanda asked as she leaned over to tear off a piece of pastry.

You didn’t immediately reply and instead chose to drink your coffee and turned your attention to the report in front of you. “Suspect was dressed in a black hoodie, weighed about…” you murmured to yourself.

“I knew it!” Amanda cheered victoriously. “I think he likes you too, you know.”

You paused and then looked up at Amanda. “Oh please. He’s your friend too – and Olivia’s…”

“I can count on one hand how many times Barba has brought me coffee. Oh, wait – none.”

You sighed. “So what? That does not mean anything. Nothing has happened; nothing will happen. We got to know each other after the Kelly case, and we became friends. That’s all.”

–

That night you texted Rafael but he was busy with work. 

Don’t work too late viejo.

Three dots appeared, then disappeared, and then reappeared again.

And that which should accompany old age as honor, love, obedience, and troops of friends.

You chuckled quietly at the Shakespearean quote, as you curled up on your couch. Quickly you wrote back. 

Want to bump into each other tomorrow morning? Brunch at Giovanni’s?

–

Rafael’s cellphone buzzed. He ignored it initially, trying to focus on the work in front of him. His phone buzzed again after a few moments and he could tell from his alert that it was you. He rapped his fingers against his desk as he hemmed and hawed about responding. It was late and he had work to do.

He backed away from his desk and walked over to his bar cart and took out the vermouth, rye, and bitters. He preferred rye when making a Manhattan; rye had more of a spice and grit to it, which he felt was more akin to his soul.

Rafael glanced at the clock. “Fuck it,” he muttered. He strode back to his desk and picked up his phone.

–

What Rafael texted back nearly made you drop the wine you were holding.

Or we can bump into each other now.

Your heart began to race a mile a minute. You looked at the clock. It was late. You were vaguely reminded me of an old episode of How I Met Your Mother where the main character said nothing good ever happened late at night – and to just go to bed. You squeezed your eyes shut and listening to your heart, you texted back. 

Be there in thirty.

You leapt off from your couch and went to change your clothes. Clean jeans and a bra, you shook your hair from the bun it was currently tied in. After a few swipes of mascara and gloss, you made your way out, walking over to Rafael’s place.

Rafael was waiting for you. He leaned against his doorway, a drink in his hand. Your breath hitched at his appearance: dark jeans and a lush green sweater that brought out the color in his eyes. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, you knew it had been a long day for him. He outstretched his arm, a drink in hand. “Made you a Manhattan.”

You smiled in response as you took the drink, breezing past him. “Don’t mind if I do.” The scent of your pear-basil shampoo wafted in Rafael’s nostrils and he closed his eyes, taking it in.

“How goes work?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink.

“La misma mierda, como siempre.” Rafael replied. “I needed a break from this closing argument. Usually they come easily, but sometimes…I can’t get a good read on this jury.”

“Try it on me,” you stated. Tall mahogany bookshelves lined Rafaels’s walls. One was stacked to the brim with books and the other, was filled with various vinyl records. You leafed through his impressive collection before settling on Van Morrison. Rafael had a manual belt-drive turntable and you set the record to play. The beginning notes of an instrumental version of Moondance began to fill the apartment. You swayed to the music, as you drank your cocktail while listening to Rafael’s closing.

Rafael watched you for your reaction as he read. He would have been remiss if he only wanted you over to listen to hear his speech. He had hoped he hadn’t come off as that prosaic. The truth was that all the time you two had spent together had been more than wonderful. He finished his argument and you set your glass down to applaud from where you stood.

Rafael approached you – you were millimetres apart. He tucked his papers under his arm and his hands rested on your forearms. His eyes searched yours. You were acutely aware of how close Rafael was. A cool breeze entered the room from the open window and your skin prickled in response. Rafael licked his lips and you watched the pink of his tongue dart out just a bit.

“Bravo counselor, where is your concern? It is really good,” you breathed out shakily.

All Rafael wanted to do was capture your lips with his. You appeared receptive he thought to himself. “I wonder…” he quietly murmured. And for a moment he did – in his mind, he would reach up to wrap around your neck from behind and tilt your head up. He imagined you would close your eyes in eager anticipation. Rafael imagined how his lips would ghost over yours, just barely touching before capturing yours for a searing kiss.

“Rafael? Rafael? Barba? Hello?”

Rafael blinked rapidly as you brought him back to reality. He pushed away from you, scattering the papers tucked under his arm in process. “Nothing, I … just wanted to run it by someone.”

You furrowed your brows in response. “Really? You have me come all the way down at this hour – because you wanted feedback?”

“Aren’t you my friend? Isn’t that what friends are for?” Rafael snapped. “No one forced you to come over.”

You were taken aback by his curt response as it seemed completely unlike him. You opened your mouth to respond when your own phone buzzed loudly in your pocket, causing you to jump in place. You glared at Rafael as you went to check your phone. It was Olivia and you were needed to come down to interview someone. 

“It’s work,” you explained, walking backwards towards the door. “I have to go. Your argument was really good – you’ll do great,” you replied shakily. “You always do.” You spun on your heels without so much as waiting for a response and took off, leaving the door wide open in your haste.

Rafael groaned in defeat as you left.

–

Neither of you spoke about that moment in the days and weeks that followed. The call from Liv led to a major case involving a designer date rape drug. The cocktail of drugs seemed untraceable; they would leave the victims’ systems by the time they got a rape kit done. There were many victims and the two perpetrators refused to accept how their actions were criminal. In the end, one perp did was sentenced to fifteen years while the other only did two, as he gave up his accomplice and cut a deal. It was a complex case which took a lot of time from both SVU and the D.A.’s office.

In his office, Rafael stared out the window, taking small sips of his scotch. Rafael felt angry over what had happened. More often than not, the law seemingly couldn’t keep up with the times. Rafael hated that he couldn’t get more justice for the victims.

A short buzz from his cellphone pulled him out of his reverie.

I don’t know what last night was but want to meet me for a drink and talk about it? At the same bar in Midtown?

Rafael moved to reply but paused in place. He wasn’t sure what was going on between you and him. He wondered what would have happened if he did not let fear best him and if Liv had not called and interrupted. Even if she hadn’t, a gnawing voice in his mind convinced him it would never have worked out. His mind drifted off back to that moment in his apartment. He huffed to himself and declined your invite.

Back in the squad room, you frowned at Rafael’s response. You wondered how much of it was the case having gotten to him versus something else. You had hoped it wasn’t the latter as your mind also kept drifting to the moment in his apartment. There was an energy in the air and you kept replaying how it should have gone. You knew you both needed to talk but work was always calling you both.

With your fate decided, you bid your adieu to your colleagues. You returned home and chose to order in Indian food and curl up in your sweats, with a good horror book. You read a few pages and ate a samosa before deciding to call it quits for the night. You reached for your phone and put it on do not disturb.

Rafael could no longer the gnawing pit in his belly that seemed to grow after he decided to decline your invite. He called you as he climbed into a cab and headed uptown. He left a brief message advising he was on his way and to save him a drink.

He searched for you upon his arrival at the bar, even asking the bartender if he had seen you at any point. His inner voice told him to go home; instead he chose to ignore it and wallow with alcohol.

The next morning you woke up to a dozen missed calls from Rafael. Oddly there was only one voicemail about a minute long. You hit play on your voicemail, unsure as to what to expect.

Y/N… Y/N… it’s Rafi. You need a better greeting. I’m sorry. Can we try again?

Rafael’s voice was slurred and whatever he said after wanting to try again was a cacophony of garbled sounds.

You crinkled your brow in response, unsure as to what he was apologizing for. With an exasperated sigh, you threw yourself back onto the pillow, covering your face with the comforter.

–

Rafael groaned as the sun poured into the bedroom, waking him. He sat up, feeling his head slosh around. Immediately, he regretted drinking so much. The memories of the night prior came flooding back. His heart thudded in his chest as he unlocked his phone and he swore in Spanish loudly when he saw how many times he dialed you. Worse, he realized he couldn’t remember if he left you a message and if he did – what he said. He stood and pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants.

He padded into the kitchen and began to prepare pour-over coffee. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he nearly dropped his favorite Harvard mug from the surprise.“

Always your friend Rafi – I am here for you.

“I guess I got my answer,” he grumbled.

–

Amanda was promoted to Detective Second Grade and the entire SVU squad was at The Patriot, a hole in the wall bar to celebrate. You shot Oliva a look as the two of you entered. “This is… is something. What the hell is that smell?”

“Amanda’s choosing,” Olivia replied with a shrug. “I am going to get a drink. Want anything?”

“Scotch, three fingers, on the rocks with a lemon twist,” you replied as you headed over to the jukebox. Olivia rolled her eyes. “Barba’s rubbing off on you. I’ll get two beers.”

“I am going to catch a venereal disease from the walls, I swear to God.” you murmured to yourself. “Ugh.”

You wore a navy peplum top that was bedazzled with a gold star print, bell cuff sleeves and a frilling neckline. Dark fitted jeans, large gold hoop earrings and nude flats complimented the outfit.

You inserted a ten-dollar bill into the jukebox and made your choices, opting for some 90’s music. Olivia returned with her drink and you engaged in small talk while you waited for the rest of the crew to arrive.

Not even an hour later, the bar was filled to the brim with everyone from One PP to SVU to other personal friends. You hung out in the back, finishing your second scotch while you played darts. You rocked your hips to the beat of the music playing, humming along softly to yourself as you gathered the darts off the board.

“Can I play?”

You felt the butterflies in your stomach flutter at the familiar voice. You felt Rafael move behind you and every hair on the back of your neck stood at attention. A hand on your waist gently spun you around. Rafael looked quite handsome in a grey button-down Henley and dark jeans. His hair was perfectly coiffed, the front gelled into a swoop. Your breath hitched at his attractiveness.

“Okay.”

One round of darts became two, then three, and then four. You cheered and lifted your arms in victory as your dart hit near the bullseye. The move caused your top to shift and expose the skin by the waist band of your jeans. Rafael eyed your exposed skin.

“I am going to get a drink,” you replied approaching him. “What’s your poison?”

“Let me get it for you,” Rafael replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Why don’t you set up another game.”

The bar was crowded but Rafael quickly made his way to the front. As he ordered two scotch sours, he looked back at you, figuring you were just waiting for him to come back. Instead, you were talking with someone – he wasn’t sure who but whomever it was gave off police vibes. You leaned into the conversation, before tilting your head back to laugh.

Rafael felt himself grow green with envy. He paid for the two cocktails, before making his way back to you. You turned to Rafael and excused yourself from the person you were speaking with. You smiled brightly at Rafael, taking the drink from him. “Thanks.”

“Who’s your friend?” Rafael gritted, plastering a smile on his face. 

You waved Rafael off. “Some friend of Amanda’s from Georgia. Want to get back to our game?”

Rafael shook his head. “I actually have to go. It’s late.”

You sensed Rafael’s changed mood and were confused by it. “Wait – what? We were having fun… you haven’t even finished your drink.”

In response, Rafael downed his drink and thrusted the empty glass into your hand. “And now I have. Have a good night Y/N – be safe.”

Stunned you watched as Rafael left the bar. The folksy chorus of “Who Will Save Your Soul” by Jewel played overhead. Jewel’s deep register crooned: say it’s been swell, sweetheart, but it was just one of those things, those flings, those strings you’ve got to cut…

You made your way back towards the front of the bar where you found Fin and Carisi in a booth in the corner. You tried your best to distract yourself and engage in what they were chattering about but you could not shake the sadness that you felt.

–

Back in the safe confines of his apartment, Rafael was aggravated and ashamed of his behavior towards you. He knew he had no reason to act that way towards you. vowed to make it up to you somehow. Before climbing into bed, Rafael drew back the curtain to open his window. Rafael was struck at how clear the night sky was, the moon shone brightly above. Sleep was fruitless. Instead, he indulged himself with self-care. As the tendrils of orgasm overtook him, your name escaped from his lips.

TBC.


	3. Chapter 3

You woke up the next day to pounding on your apartment door. You groaned as you shuffled out of your room. “Just a minute,” you called as you pulled on your fluffy purple robe. The banging on your door intensified. Irritated, you called out once more. “Coming!” You found a lone hair tie on the end table by your couch and you took it, pulling your hair into a low pony-tail. You opened the door and found no one there. Confused, you were about to close the door, when you noticed a package with a note. Your heart began to pound and you crouched down to get a closer look. You sighed in relief when you realized the lettering on the box was from the NorthFork donut company, a small artisinal shop that you were obsessed with. Your eyes darted past the box and there was a growler of coldbrew coffee, from your favorite local roaster, SailAway Coffee Company.

You took the package and growler and shut the door behind you. You could smell how fresh the donuts were from even outside of the box and your stomach growled. You made your way back to the kitchen and set the goodies on the island before going to get a glass for the coffee. You spooned some sugar into the glass and then opened the growler to pour the coffee in.

Carefully, you opened the donut box and instead of getting caught up in the delicious sight before you, your eyes settled on the note that was taped on the inside lid. Your name was scrawled in Rafael’s handwriting.

Y/N, I am sorry for last night. Mea culpa. I just really miss my friend and hope I didn’t fuck it up for good.

You sighed and pondered Rafael’s note. You wondered had you not had a thing for him, would you even be so forgiving. You grabbed a fancy looking chocolate donut and then went back to your room to grab your phone. You hopped onto a barstool and wrote Rafael back.

Thanks for the donuts and coffee. Didn’t take you for someone to be so cliched. Come over, help me finish the coffee. Can’t make any promises on the donuts.

Rafael texted he would be over within the hour. You were tempted to eat another donut, but instead chose to shower.

–

“Do they just let anyone on the roof?” Rafael asked in disbelief as he took in the view of the city before him from your rooftop.

“No, but sometimes being a cop has its perks,” you winked before taking a sip of your coffee. “I like to come up here in just when it gets a little too much for me down there, it’s like…like my New York version of a mountaintop.”

The sun was beaming down brightly but there was a cool breeze, not making it overly warm. You brought over the donuts to the little table that you had set up. Rafael leaned against the railing, watching you as you set up the donuts.

“I’m sorry.”

You paused your actions and stood straight up, to face him. “I know. I got your note.” Rafael walked over to you. His hand rested on your forearms. You searched each other’s eyes. Part of you wanted to do nothing but smooth back some of his hair that had fallen out of place but you refrained from doing so. “Look Rafael – I don’t understand our relationship. Sometimes we’re friends… sometimes it feels like we’re strangers. You have to be honest with me.”

Rafael Barba, the silver-tongued prosecutor suddenly found himself at a loss for words. His mouth went dry and he swallowed hard. His stomach was in knots. Unable to look at you, he turned away, facing the skyline once more.

“It’s complicated.”

“Bullshit.”

You marched back up to Rafael and stood to face him. “Talk to me. What is it? Please.”

Rafael looked at you and he felt awful for being the reason your face was laced with worry and concern. He wished he could tell you how he felt about you – that all he wanted to do was to kiss you – and then some. You crossed your arms and bit your lip, anxious at his pending response. Something – you weren’t sure what – flashed across Rafael’s face and all you wanted to do was rush up to him and kiss him. You stepped closer to Rafael and he stepped closer to you.

“It’s work,” Rafael lied. “Just have been stressed. It’s the summer so a lot of people are off and I just bit off more than I can chew.”

You sighed. “Okay. If you say so.” Rafael did not miss the hint of disappointment in your voice. You walked back over to the table and grabbed a donut before sitting down on a wicker love seat. You chewed slowly as you looked up towards the sky. A pigeon flew overhead before settling on the ledge. The bird cooed at you as it eyed your donut. You tore off a piece of your donut and tossed it towards the bird.

“I don’t think donuts are part of a well-balanced diet for a pigeon.”

You snorted. “Are you some kind of pigeon expert? Is that your side-hustle Rafael Barba?”

Rafael guffawed as he sat down next to you. You reached over and handed him the donut box. Rafael chose a black and white donut – it was just like the cookie – but in donut form. You leaned your head on Rafael’s shoulder and the two of you sat there in silence, for what seemed like forever. The heat from the sun melted the glaze from the donuts and your fingers were sticky. You sucked the sugary coating off of your fingers slowly, not realizing Rafael’s gaze was hyper-focused on your movements. You closed your eyes and hummed and Rafael felt his desire shoot southward.

Rafael stood suddenly. “Anyway, I have to get going – I am glad we’re okay.”

You stood, brushing off invisible crumbs from your lap. “No – stay.”

Rafael pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tightly before pulling away to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you, Y/N.”

–

Strip clubs have reputations for being havens for drugs and sex trafficking for a reason. And that is was the scene of your next case – a stripper was brutally assaulted by a pimp there. Olivia had the idea of setting up a honeytrap with you going undercover. You showed up to the precinct all dolled up with a face full of heavy makeup and your hair in half-up and half-down in soft sexy curls.

“What are we working with?” Olivia asked, pointing to your trench coat. “I don’t think that is going to fly on the stage.”

You opened your trench coat revealing your actual outfit: you were outfitted in pure sin: a matching purple lame crop top, with a deep neckline, which accentuated your breasts and booty shorts with a ruched backing. Obscenely large hoop earrings hung off your lobes and your wrists were stacked with bangle bracelets. Finishing your outfit were shiny black patent five inch heels that accentuated your well defined calves.

At that moment Amanda came in with Rafael and Carisi on her heels. “We’re all set up to go… hey, hey, looking good, Y/N.”

“What is she… “ Rafael began but found himself at a loss for words as he took in the sight of you. All the blood in his body headed south. “Do I want to know why you’re dressed like that? Wait a second… Y/N – you’re the mark for the honeytrap?” he asked in disbelief.

“Well who else would it be?” you asked. “Liv’s mug is all over the paper – Rollins is … you know…” you waved your hand over Amanda who was very clearly pregnant. “And Kat is on vacation visiting her mom in San Diego.”

“Liv, I don’t like this,” Rafael replied quietly. “This could get dangerous. I am worried about Y/N’s safety.”

“We don’t need to get your approval. Besides, Y/N is tough – she can handle her own.” Olivia replied, giving Rafael an incredulous look. “Besides, we’ll have eyes and ears on the place. The first sign things are not going well, we’re moving in.”

“Hello? Hi – let’s not talk about me, in front of me,” you replied, waving your hand in between Rafael and Olivia. “Rafael – I got this,” you replied with an eye roll. “It’ll be fine.”

–

Rafael sat inside the stakeout van, cramped and uncomfortable. Inside the van was Olivia and Carisi. Olivia was feeding information to Fin who was inside the strip club, also undercover as a customer. Clipped in your earrings was a tiny camera recording every move.

Rafael watched as you were announced on the stage as “Sage Whisper.” You were nervous initially, especially as you knew Rafael was watching you. You chose to dance to “Pour It Up” by Rihanna. 

Money on my mind  
Money, money on my mind  
Throw it, throw it up  
Watch it fall off from the sky

As you swung your body around the pole, you allowed yourself to get lost to the song and got really into your performance. You bent down to touch your toes, in front of the audience giving everyone a view of your ass, the material of your shorts rising up, almost being eaten by your cheeks when you stood up. You sauntered back to the pole and gyrated your hips as you shimmied off your shorts, revealing your black G-string. Just as you were about to clip off the back of your top, you were requested to go to a private room by the pimp your team had eyes on.

Meanwhile in the van, sweat dripped off Rafael’s brow. He wasn’t sure if it was you, the closed quarters, or both. Judging by how tight his pants were growing, he was sure it was you. He shifted uncomfortably as he watched you saunter off the stage and head to a backroom. The pimp had his hand low on your back, before moving down to squeeze it.

Rafael wanted to throw up.

–

You played your bit to the pimp, egging him on and teasing. Finally, the pimp had enough and he had backed you into a corner, his hand gripping your hair tightly, cocking your head.

“Watch it bitch – or I’ll do to you what I did to the last slut who came in here.”

You raised your brow in defiance. “I’d like to see you try.”

What you didn’t expect was to be pistol whipped. You collapsed to the ground and groaned in pain as you were kicked in the ribs. Around you was a cacophony of sounds – you could hear Olivia and Fin in the background along with several other police backup entering the room with their guns raised.

You could barely hear your name as your ears continued to ring. Finally, a pair of hands pulled you up and helped you out of the room.

Back outside, you shivered as you sat in the back of an open van, your head still pounding. You wore Liv’s police jacket in a futile attempt to keep warm. “Y/N, you did good,” Olivia replied softly. “I have your change of clothes. I’ll bring them by while you get checked out.”

“I don’t need to be checked out; I am fine,” you protested. Olivia raised her hand and shook her head.

“You need to be checked out. You are probably concussed and you might have a bruised rib or even a broken one.”

You sighed. “Okay. I’ll come up to the station after to finish up my paperwork.”

“Nonsense – you can do that on Monday. Take the rest of the weekend.” You began to protest when Oliva held a hand up. “That’s an order detective.”

“Ay, ay Captain,” you muttered weakly. Olivia waived over an EMS worker and as you were checked out, Rafael rushed to the van.

“Y/N, are you okay? Jesus fucking Christ!”

“I’m fine, Rafael. I promise. Just some bruises. Nothing that won’t heal in a couple of days.”

“Olivia gave me your clothes.” You nodded and gave him a small smile of appreciation as you took the duffel bag. You climbed into the van and began to shut the doors. “Make sure no one drives off with me in it – I am going to change.”

A few minutes later you emerged in a ratty sweatshirt and your most comfortable, broken in jeans. Your appeared out of place with your heavy makeup and costume jewelry still on. You winced as you removed your fake eyelashes. Rafael felt horrible for what you went through. “Do you have to go back to the precinct?”

“No. Liv gave me the weekend off; told me to finish my paperwork Monday.”

“Come on – let me get us a cab. We’ll go get some food.”

You smiled brightly. “That sounds perfect.”

–

You winced slightly as you laughed as Rafael told you an embarrassing tale of him as a kid. You popped a French fry in your mouth, reveling in the hot, salty carb. You were both back at the bar in Midtown.

“So you never told me why you ever came to this bar in the first place. Those many weeks ago.” Rafael trailed off, taking a long sip from his beer bottle.

You plucked a fry from Rafael’s plate and chewed it slowly, mulling over your next words. “I went to high school in the city and I was a senior when 9/11 occurred. When my friends and I were let out, we could not find a subway out of the city. So we ended up holed in this bar – this very bar. The owners of the bar – fed us never ending fries and sodas until we were able to connect with our parents. A cop came to get us a few hours later and drove us home. I have been a frequent flyer since I turned of legal age – more or less,” you chuckled. “And then Sean – one of the owners - died a few years ago to ALS.” Your voice warbled at the last bit and a tear threatened to fall. You wiped your greasy hands on a napkin and then used the back of your hands to wipe your eyes.

Rafael reached over and took one of your hands into his and squeezed it. You gave him a small smile and took a deep breath and a look around. “Okay, lets have a shot for Sean and for this night being an overall success despite…” you trailed off, casting a hand over yourself.

Rafael signaled for the bartender. Six shot glasses were lined up. And then again. And again.

When you first got ready for the evening, you never thought it would end with you and Rafael doing body shots. As Rafael sucked a mark into your neck, you gasped, “Friends don’t do this kind of shit!”

“Then I guess we were never friends,” Rafael husked in your ear, before pulling away to toss the shot back.


	4. Chapter 4

Rafael signaled for the bartender. Six shot glasses were lined up. You each lifted a shot glass. “For Sean,” you proudly exclaimed.

“For Y/N, the best detective and friend a man could ask for. Well done today.” Rafael returned. You gave him a toothy smile and clinked your glass with his.

“Otra vez.”

Rafael nodded and lifted his shot glass, and quickly tossed it back before tuning the glass upside down on the bar top.

You gave him a small head nod and did the same; you both repeated the same with the two remaining glasses. The endorphins from the honeytrap mixed with the buzz from the alcohol was making you feel warm; your inhibitions were starting to fade. You didn’t care for the consequences – all that mattered was that you wanted Rafael and were tired of keeping your feelings at bay. Desire was bubbling at the surface, ready to spill over like a pot of boiled liquid.

You made your decision. You asked the bartender for the bottle of tequila, salt and limes.

“What are we doing? Body shots?” Rafael laughed, his eyes crinkling.

“Yeah, what of it? Lets live a little,” you stated. “Have you ever done a body shot?”

Rafael didn’t immediately respond and you squealed with delight. “Oh, this is going to be fun!”

You reached over and grabbed Rafael’s hand and ran your tongue on the back of his hand, just below his index finger. Rafael’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched you pour the salt on his skin. You ran your tongue over the salty skin and then knocked the shot back. You grabbed a lime wedge and bit down, sucking on the lime juice. You gave Rafael a smile, with the lime wedge in your mouth before removing it, dissolving into a fit of giggles. “Your turn.”

Rafael let out a shaky breath. “Are you sure?”

You nodded. You unzipped the zipper of your very oversized sweatshirt slightly, and shimmied the material off slightly. You pushed your hair back and tilted your neck, exposing your skin.

Rafael’s eyes darkened at your exposed skin. His mind flashed to earlier in the evening, as he watched you shake your shit all over the strip club, like you owned the place. His cock twitched again and he decided to give into his desire.

Rafael stood and took a step closer to you. He helped you stand up, and he wrapped his arm around your waist, bringing you closer. You were millimeters apart. His large hands were soft and warm and he gently tilted your head. Skin exposed, he lowered his face to your neck. Your skin, which was still covered in body glitter, smelled like warm vanilla. He quietly groaned before taking a long broad swipe along your neck. You moaned and it was euphoria in Rafael’s ears. He pulled back, shook the salt shaker onto your skin, and resumed his actions. You squirmed in Rafael’s embrace, biting your lip hard to prevent you from obscenely moaning. As Rafael sucked a mark into your neck, you gasped, “Friends don’t do this kind of shit!”

“Then I guess we were never friends,” Rafael husked in your ear, before pulling away to toss the shot back. Rafael slammed the glass down on the bar top. You grabbed Rafael’s face with your hands; his five o’clock shadow prickled your palms. On wobbly tip-toes you stood and pulled him into a kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. The kiss was intense, all teeth and tongue clashing against one another, desperate and hungry. Finally, Rafael pulled away and you briefly whined at the lost connection. The dark look in his eyes sent an involuntary shiver up your spine.

“Let’s get out of here.” You requested.

“Are you sure?” Rafael asked. ‘Please say yes, please say yes.’

You stepped closer to him and placed a small kiss on the corner of his lips. “Yes guapo.”

Rafael let out a shaky breath. He hadn’t been called guapo by someone significant since Yelina and hearing you call him that made his heart skip a beat.

“If we want to get out of here, I have to pay the tab.” Rafael murmured returning your small kiss with a small kiss of his own. He signaled for the bartender.

“I’ll get us a cab.” You offered, nodding your head to the door. “I’ll see you outside.”

You shivered while you tried to hail a cab. It was warmer earlier, but it had cooled off substantially. The city smelled like petrichor and the street glistened as it had rained earlier. Just as you were about to just give up and call an Uber, a yellow taxi-cab slowed down and pulled up.

You opened the door and poked your head in. “Just waiting on someone.” The driver nodded and you leaned against the side as you waited for Rafael.

Rafael burst out and looked frantically side to side, and you could feel the sigh of relief he exhaled as he noticed you. He quickly strode over and cupped your face with one hand. His other hand settled on your hip. Wordlessly, he captured your lips with his once more. You let out a sigh as he sucked your bottom lip. The kiss continued for another five seconds before you were interrupted by the cab driver.

“Are you two getting in or am I wasting my fucking time?”

You both jumped and you felt your cheeks grow warm. “We’re coming – hold your damn your horses, Jesus fucking Christ!”

Rafael chuckled at your outburst. The driver huffed and Rafael rolled his eyes as he entered the cab after you. Rafael rattled off his address and you felt a mixture of relief and excitement to be going to his place, versus yours.

The streetlamps were a blur as the cab sped towards downtown. The entire ride was filled with the two of you kissing, desperate for each other’s touch. You rubbed his thigh through his pants and Rafael nuzzled your neck. The heady scent of his cologne invigorated your senses. Rafael’s lips ghosted along your skin and your pussy throbbed against the confines of your jeans. You were already so aroused, and nothing had even started yet. Rafael couldn’t wait to show you how much he wanted you – to feel you. His pants felt tights and he was desperate to relieve the ache that had settled.

Music on the radio played quietly. If you had truly listened, you would have realized that “Who Will Save Your Soul” was playing.

Who will save your soul when it comes to the flowers now  
Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy  
And who will save your souls if you won’t save your own?

The cab finally came to a stop. The cab driver barked at the two of you, causing you to both jump. Rafael apologized and handed the driver a large bill, well covering the ride plus tip and then some.

“Mr. Barba, good evening. Welcome home. Ms. Y/N, lovely to see you again.” The doorman greeted.

Rafael coughed slightly, trying to regain some composure. “Good evening Anthony.”

You gave Anthony a small smile and wave, murmuring a hello; you allowed Rafael to grab your hand and let him lead you in.

–

You both tumbled into his apartment. Lips still connected, Rafael used his leg to slam the door shut behind him. Hands were everywhere, desperate and eager to touch one another’s flesh. One of Rafael’s hands slipped under the hem of your sweatshirt and traveled upwards. He was extra cautious with his movements, as he knew your side was bruised from being kicked earlier. As he made his way to a breast, he was pleasantly surprised to learn you were bra-less. His hand cupped and squeezed one globe, before moving onto the other. With his thumb and index fingers, Rafael rolled and tugged at your nipples, until they were hardened pebbles.

“Too many clothes.” You managed to say breathlessly in between kisses. Rafael nodded and pulled away. You were both breathless from your intense kissing session. You reached for the hem of your sweatshirt and flipped it over your head before moving your hands down to your jeans and unzipping them. You kicked off your shoes, before pushing your pants off. Rafael followed suit – shoes, shirt, then pants. Rafael’s gaze traveled over your body and lewdly, stroked himself through his boxers.

With a growl, Rafael was upon you once more, his lips crashing against yours. You whimpered as you opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to enter. As your tongues tangled, Rafael’s hands traveled to your thighs. He gave them a squeeze before lifting you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he carried you towards his bedroom. You collapsed onto the bed, a tangled mess of limbs and Rafael rolled you, so he was on top. You hissed slightly, the pain from your ribs, were sobering to not just you, but to Rafael too.

Rafael propped himself up, his arms along side your head and he looked at you, his face full of concern.

“Y/N “ he began, his voice somber. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

You leaned up and pressed a hand onto his chest, pushing him off you. Rafael sat on his haunches while you sat up fully. “Wait – why? Don’t you want this?” After a pregnant pause, you continued, your voice low, near a whisper. “Don’t you want me?”

Rafael leaned over to press a gentle kiss on your lips and then rested his forehead against yours. “I do – believe me I do. But you’re hurt and we have both been drinking.”

You bit your lip and nodded slowly, feeling your cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. “Okay. I’ll just get dressed and go.”

You began to move but an outstretched arm stopped you. You looked over your shoulder at him.

“Stay the night. Please.” Rafael implored, his eyes searching yours. You wanted to, so badly. Part of you hesitated to wonder if in the morning Rafael would still be interested or if this would be chalked up to a mistake of too much alcohol. You had a feeling the friendship was effectively ruined. But you were a consummate professional and even if your friendship was ruined, you would not let it get in the way of work.

“Y/N… please. Say something.”

Your eyes flickered past Rafael’s shoulder to the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was late and your buzz was starting to fade into exhaustion. You weren’t wild about really leaving at such a late hour, even if you were only a few blocks away. You agreed and internally decided to make sure to leave before Rafael woke up in the morning.

Rafael pulled you into a soft kiss. “I’ll get you something to wear.” The bed creaked as he stood and he made his way to his drawer, where he pulled out a pair of sweatpants, which he quickly slipped on. Rafael fussed a bit more, looking for something you to wear. He eventually produced his old Harvard Law t-shirt and gave it to you.

Rafael climbed back into bed and you snuggled on his chest where sleep befell you both.

–

The next morning you woke up to the smell of coffee and cinnamon. From a distance you could hear music in the background. You winced as you sat up. Sunlight pored into the bedroom through the curtain and you raised your arm over your head in an attempt to block the light. You looked to the left and noticed Rafael wasn’t in bed. You glanced at the clock – it was 9:15 A.M. You were appalled that you slept in and did not get to sneak out. At the corner of the bed were your clothes piled neatly.

“There’s my answer.” You mumbled to yourself. Your stomach growled and you made a mental note to grab something on the way home. You took off Rafael’s shirt and slipped your clothes back on. Your sweatshirt reeked of booze and you crinkled your nose in disgust.

“Just play cool – say Olivia called and you had to come in after all.” You told yourself. “Totally believable.”

“What’s believable?”

You jumped, startled. You turned around and found Rafael in the doorway, an amused look on his face. He stood shirtless, his sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips. You felt your mouth go dry as you drank him in. You noticed one hand was balled in a fist and the other, held a glass of water.

“I – I – uh, good morning Rafael.”

“I figured you could use this – for the hangover and your ribs,” Rafael continued as he dropped two pills in your hand. “I have coffee in the kitchen, and I was about to order some food.”

You mumbled your thanks and took the painkillers. Rafael watched you intently as you chugged your water. You wiped your mouth on the sleeve of your sweatshirt and thrust the glass back into this hand. “Thanks for letting me stay the night. I should go.”

“Look, I know last night wasn’t ideal.” Rafael protested, setting the glass down. “But I meant what I said. I want you. I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned.”

You cocked your head, studying his expression in a veiled attempt to eek out anything that would indicate what he was saying wasn’t truthful. “Come.” Rafael outstretched his hand and nodded his head towards the living room.

You took Rafael’s hand and allowed him to lead the way. “I should have done this that night you were here – when I invited you to hear my closing.” Rafael looked through his vinyl collection, quickly finding the record he was looking for. You instantly recognized the cover to the record as the one you chose. Rafael waited for the turntable platter to stop spinning before he gently removed it and returned it to its cover. Finally, Rafael set the new record to play and Moonlight began to play.

Rafael returned to you and took you into his arms. He caressed your face gently, pushing your hair away from your face. “I should have kissed you that night. And every night before then and every night after. I shouldn’t have waited.” Rafael lowered his face and brushed his lips against yours. You felt your heart swell at his proclamation and eagerly returned his kiss. His stubble prickled your skin and you lasciviously wondered what it would feel like in between your legs.

Your tongues gently rolled over one another’s as you each explored the caverns of your mouths. You moaned slightly and Rafael took the cue to deepen the kiss. Your hands ran up and down his defined arms, before running down to his sides. Rafael nipped your bottom lip and sucked it in between his teeth, causing you to moan.

Rafael moved back to your neck, focusing his ministrations on a particularly sensitive spot. You ran your hands into his hair and gripped tightly as he sucked a mark into your neck. You whimpered as he used the tip of his tongue to soothe the bruised spot.

“Still have to go?” Rafael asked breathless, his voice hopeful as he pulled away. He beamed inwardly with pride at the hickey that was beginning to develop.

You shook your head, smirking. “No.”

“Good. I want to have breakfast and I bet you’re just delicious.”

You laughed heartily at his comment and then squealed as he picked you up, hoisting you over his shoulder and leading you back to his bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

You took Rafael’s hand and allowed him to lead the way. “I should have done this that night you were here – when I invited you to hear my closing.” Rafael looked through his vinyl collection, quickly finding the record he was looking for. You instantly recognized the cover to the record as the one you chose. Rafael waited for the turntable platter to stop spinning before he gently removed it and returned it to its cover. Finally, Rafael set the new record to play and Moonlight began to play.

Rafael returned to you and took you into his arms. He caressed your face gently, pushing your hair away from your face. “I should have kissed you that night. And every night before then and every night after. I shouldn’t have waited.” Rafael lowered his face and brushed his lips against yours. You felt your heart swell at his proclamation and eagerly returned his kiss. His stubble prickled your skin and you lasciviously wondered what it would feel like in between your legs.

Your tongues gently rolled over one another’s as you each explored the caverns of your mouths. You moaned slightly and Rafael took the cue to deepen the kiss. Your hands ran up and down his defined arms, before running down to his sides. Rafael nipped your bottom lip and sucked it in between his teeth, causing you to moan.

Rafael moved back to your neck, focusing his ministrations on a particularly sensitive spot. You ran your hands into his hair and gripped tightly as he sucked a mark into your neck. You whimpered as he used the tip of his tongue to soothe the bruised spot.

“Still have to go?” Rafael asked breathless, as he pulled away. He beamed at the hickey that was beginning to develop.

You shook your head, smirking. “No.”

“Good. I want to have breakfast and I bet you’re just delicious.”

You laughed heartily at his comment and then squealed as he picked you up, hoisting you over his shoulder and leading you back to his bedroom.

Rafael gave your ass a smack as he carried you over your shoulder to his bedroom. From there he plopped you onto his bed and you sunk into the fluffy comforter in a fit of giggles.

“What’s so funny cariño?” Rafael questioned, as he climbed over you. Instinctively, you parted your legs so that Rafael could settle in between them. You wrapped your legs around his waist and crossed them at the ankle effectively trapping Rafael in place, not that he wanted to escape. 

You locked eyes with Rafael, his eyes twinkling with curiosity. Your hands rested on his biceps and you felt his muscles twitch under your fingers.

“Just never thought this would be happening. We went from undercover bust to doing body shots… and now I am in your bed.”

“So your weekend is improving, is what you’re saying.”

You laughed heartily. “God help me. But yes. It’s just too bad…”

Rafael cocked his head. “What?”

“Too bad we didn’t finish those body shots. I have a shockingly deep belly button.” You winked for an added effect.

Rafael leaned down to kiss you and you softly moaned as you returned the kiss. Your fingers ran through his hair, softly scratching his scalp as you kissed him. Rafael’s mouth moved to your ear, where he playfully nipped your lobe. He flickered his tongue behind in the crevice between the back of the lobe and your skin, sending tingles down your spine. You moved your head, catching Rafael’s lips with yours once more. You pressed your hands on Rafael’s chest and pushed him off of you gently. Rafael gave you a bewildered look, but it was quickly replaced with a lustful look as you removed your sweatshirt.

Rafael climbed back over you once more, and he peppered your jawline with small, chaste kisses before moving across your clavicle and down your sternum. A small growl rumbled from his chest as he circled your nipple with his tongue, before taking it into his mouth. He used his other hand to pinch and roll your other nipple. Rafael took his time, leisurely playing with your breasts, stimulating you with various intensities of touch. Rafael moved to your other breast and repeated his languid actions. You whimpered and mewled under Rafael’s touch as he kept going: sucking, touching, rubbing, squeezing, and stroking. Rafael grazed his teeth gently along the tip and you arched your back in response. Your skin was flushed with arousal.

Rafael pressed wet open kisses down your sternum and continued down your stomach. He paused at your belly button, before using his tongue to gently swirl around it. “What’s that you said about body shots?” he murmured against your skin, causing you to quiver. Rafael shifted further down, until he got to your jeans. Your breathing was shallow as you grew more aroused, your heart was racing with anticipation. Rafael stopped what he was doing and locked eyes with you.

“If at any point you want to stop – you tell me. Me entiendes?”

“Yes, Rafael – of course.” You agreed. After a beat you continued. “Please don’t stop.” 

Rafael undid the button of your jeans and unzipped them. He kissed your newly exposed skin, just above the band of your underwear. You lifted your hips in encouragement and Rafael helped you remove both items. Rafael took your underwear in his hand and balled them, inhaling your sweet scent. Rafael had to will himself to not cum right then and there.

Rafael gently spread your legs and his cock twitched at how noticeably aroused you were. His fingers ghosted over pussy. Normally you kept yourself neatly trimmed, but because of your undercover stint, you were completely bare and if anything, extra sensitive. Rafael’s breath was warm and you squirmed. A large forearm kept you in place. “You’re soaked,” he husked, as he collected your arousal on his fingertip before moving to massage your swollen clit.

You swore loudly as Rafael rubbed concentric circles on your clit. “Oh fuck!” Rafael teased you in the same way he did with your breasts, but this time on your pussy. You locked eyes with Rafael and he winked before he lowered his mouth to your cunt. You gasped as he licked a broad stripe up your slit. His warm, wet tongue circled your bundle of nerves before his lips closed around it. ‘God when they said he was a good orator, they weren’t kidding’ you thought to yourself as you threw your head back. You grasped and fisted the sheets as Rafael worked you closer and closer to orgasm.

Your fingers tangled in Rafael’s dark hair, keeping him in place in between your legs. The burn of Rafael’s stubble against you only heightened your pleasure as you ground against his face. You whimpered and murmured words of praise and encouragement as Rafael continued to eat you like a man starved.

Rafael momentarily paused his actions, partly to take a breather and partly to tease you. “Please, please… I want to cum,” you half-sobbed. Rafael chuckled low as he continued to rub your clitoris.

“Is that so Y/N?” Rafael teased as he kept your legs spread apart. He kept his touches light and teasing, stroking your labia softly, all the way down to your perineum. Your body was trembling with desire as Rafael continued his tease. Finally, Rafael slipped two fingers inside of you. He curled his fingers in a “’come hither’ motion towards your belly button, caressing your g-spot, before slipping his fingers back out and rubbing your clitoris. He repeated the motions over and over.

“Oh my God, oh my God! Rafael!” You cried out. Rafael kept a steady caress on your g-spot and used the pad of his thumb to rub your clitoris. Rafael could feel your walls flutter, squeezing. Finally, it was all too much, and your orgasm peaked. You choked out Rafael’s name as you squirted all over his face.

You barely had a moment to come down from your high when Rafael’s mouth was back on you, lapping away like a kitten with a saucer of cream. You groaned and tried to pull away, your body too sensitive. Instead, Rafael kept a tight grip on your hips as he continued to eat you out.

You were desperate for a break but also desperate for more, to be filled. “Fuck me Rafael,” you implored. “Please.”

Rafael removed himself and you felt yourself blush at the sight of his face covered in your essence. Rafael climbed back up your body and you pulled him down for a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. You both continued to lazily makeout before you took the impetus to roll Rafael over, so he was on his back.

“My turn,” you murmured against his lips before shimmying down his body. As you did so, you pressed large wet kisses along his chest and down his abdomen. Rafael’s cock was rock solid and created a large tent in his boxers. You reached into the flap of his boxers and pulled out his cock. He was deliciously thick and you couldn’t wait for him to fill you up. You wrapped your fingers around his cock, your fingers could barely meet around his girth. Your hand held him firm at the base, languidly pumping him. You keened in the sound of Rafael’s groans above you. Finally, you took his length in your mouth.

He hissed at the sensation, and you swirled your tongue around the crown of his cock, alternating between the flat side of your tongue and the tip. His groans became louder and louder. He reached down to place his hand on the back of your head, his fingers tangled tightly in your hair. Rafael propped himself on one elbow watching as his cock slip in and out of your mouth as he continued to guide you. You dipped your tongue into the slit before moving onto lick the underside of his cock, from the base to the tip. You repeated this action before moving down to his testicles. You gently sucked on one side and then moved to the other, causing Rafael to jerk slightly in response. “Fuck yes…” Rafael growled quietly.

You pulled back slightly and Rafael loosened the grip on your head. Your lips were swollen and a strand of connected you to him. You broke the connection by wiping your mouth and then returned to swallow his length once more. Rafael’s cock felt heavy on your tongue and the taste of his pre-cum flooded your mouth. The wet, sloppy sounds of you sucking his cock filled the room.

“Mierda, you’re such a good cocksucker Y/N,” Rafael panted as he laid back down. You hummed at his praise, which sent vibrations up his spine. “Keep that up and I’ll come right in that pretty mouth of yours.”

You hollowed your cheeks and sucked him harder in response. Rafael falling apart was titillating and served to heighten your arousal. You could feel your wetness drip down your thighs. You popped off, breathless. You leaned over close to Rafael, your tits brushing against his chest. “Maybe next time,” you purred. “For now, I want you to come inside me.”

Rafael brought you down to kiss him. The kiss was hard, all mashed up teeth and tongue. Rafael rolled you back so he was on top of you. He sat on his haunches, admiring your nakedness. Finally, he removed his boxers, tossing them to the side without care. You took in the sight of Rafael completely nude, his cock red and weeping.

“Protection?”

Rafael nodded and he made his way to a drawer, where he pulled out a box. He continued to stroke his cock with one hand. With the other, he removed one and with eyes on you, rolled it on. He climbed back onto the bed and you spread your legs. Rafael nestled in between your legs and used his cock to stroke and smack your cunt, teasing.

“Just fuck me already,” you whined. “Give it to me.”

Rafael pushed inside of you. “So needy.”

You both moaned loudly as he sunk into you and then bottomed out. He was thick and there was a sweet burn as he stretched you. Your muscles clamped down like a vice and you hooked your legs around his waist once more. Rafael started off with some shallow thrusts, setting the speed. Your eyes fluttered shut as you allowed yourself to get lost in the sensation of the rhythm of his hips.

Your nails raked down Rafael’s back as he increased his movements. Grunts and moans now filled the room. You couldn’t believe this was happening – you had imagined this moment for months. You were so close to coming but you also did not want this moment, these pleasurable feelings to end. You moved an arm to snake in between your bodies and to rub your clit. Rafael’s cock nudged a sweet spot and you couldn’t hold on any longer. “I’m going to co…I am… I am going to…” you gasped, your words a jumbled mess.

Rafael lowered himself so he was nearly lying on top of you and he buried his face in the crook of your neck. Rafael sucked the skin of your neck, marking you once more. “Come for me,” he growled. You wailed Rafael’s name as you let go, your body following his command. Feeling your walls flutter around his cock and hearing his name escaping your lips was too much for Rafael. This was better than he had ever imagined. His thrusting became erratic; sweat dripped off his body onto yours. You knew he was close to coming himself. Rafael let out a strangled cry as he stilled his movements, coming.

Rafael collapsed on top of you and you pressed a kiss on his sweat slicked skin. You hummed contentedly, enjoying the feel of his body on yours. Rafael nuzzled your neck before moving to press a soft kiss on your lips.

“I think it is safe to say I feel the same way about you.” You murmured against Rafael’s skin. “I have for some time.”

Rafael beamed. He was relieved that you returned his affections and that this wasn’t just a one-time event for you.

Rafael hummed in response and rolled off of you. You brought the fitted sheet over yourself a bit as Rafael stood to dispose of the condom. He returned to the bed and pulled you close to him. You snuggled in his embrace, listening to his heart thud in his chest.

“So…” you began, running your fingers along his chest hair. “Now what?”

Rafael pressed a kiss to the top of your forehead. “Well, before we rush to change our Facebook status, for now, I am happy to just lay here with you, mi alma.”

“Alma? What’s that?” you asked as you now drew circles on his chest. 

“Soul.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at the translation. Finally you let out a small giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Rafael asked.

“You have a Facebook?”

Rafael rolled so that he laid on top of you once more. “Oh, there’s a lot you don’t know about me detective.” He added a wink for good measure before leaning down to kiss you.

“I can’t wait to find out,” you replied, gasping once more as Rafael began kissing down your body again.

FIN.


End file.
